Feels Like Today
by stjmavsgirl41
Summary: Takes place on the day of John's accident. What was John thinking about on his way to Atlantic City? This is what I think. Set to the song Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts. ONE SHOT!


Disclaimer: I do not own One Life to Live or any of the characters, just simply borrowing them for a short time.

Author's Note: Ok everybody, this is a one shot fic, based on what I think was going through John's mind the night he got in the accident. Definently a Jolie story. Enjoy and review!! Oh, BTW, this is set to the song "Feels Like Today" by Rascal Flatts. It's an amazing song, one of my favorites!

Feels Like Today 

There was something different in the air as John McBain stepped out of the Angel Square Hotel. It might have been the slight chill in the air. After all, September was ending, and fall had just begun, so it had started to get a little nippy at dusk. He could smell a hint of charbroiled hamburgers, coming from Carlotta's Diner just down the block. But no, that wasn't it either. Finally John realized, that tingle of change in the air wasn't the shift of seasons or the delicious aroma of Carlotta's cooking. It was _freedom._

Only yesterday had he earned this freedom. For 25 years, John had been plagued with questions and nightmares of his fathers' murder. Who had killed him and why? This lingering mystery continued to haunt John, causing him to miss out on any kind of true love or an opportunity to start a family. But now, after finally putting his father's killer, Spencer Truman, behind bars, John could move on with his life.

John reached his car at the far end of the parking lot, got in, and started the car. The music that greeted him was some country song talking about how some guy had "friends in low places", whatever that meant.

"Natalie messing with my stations again, she knows I hate country," John murmured to himself.

After quickly channel surfing and finding nothing else better to listen to, John decided to leave it on the country station. At least it would remind him of Natalie.

As he pulled onto the highway leading to Atlantic City, his sub-conscience knew a new song had started, but he was too busy with the thoughts swirling around in his head to _really_ notice.

_I woke up this morning_

_With this feeling inside me that I can't explain_

_Like a weight that I've carried_

_Been carried away, away_

_But I know something is coming_

_I don't know what it is_

_But I know it's amazing, you save me_

_My time is coming_

_And I'll find my way out of this longest drought_

_It feels like today I know it feels like today I'm sure_

_It's the one thing that's missin' _

_The one thing you're wishin'_

_The last sacred blessin' _

_It feels like today_

_Feels like today_

Darkness had finally settled over Pennsylvania. John was now alone on the interstate along with a few other cars and diesels. He passed a road sign, saying Atlantic City was still 15 miles away. "_Almost there," _John thought to himself.

As the he drove on, John's thoughts settled back on the beautiful redhead awaiting him at his apartment. He had told her before he left that he had a surprise for her when he got back. The look of excitement on her face was priceless. Her gorgeous blue eyes lit up, which made John smile. She had hugged him and given him and kiss or two (or maybe more, but who was counting?) before he walked out the door, and her love for him was evident. How had John ended up with someone as amazing as this? He didn't deserve her. Especially after everything he had put her through. The Music Box Killer, Evangeline Williamson, Hayes Barber, the Statesville riot, chasing after his father's killer, and the list could go on! But no matter what, Natalie always stayed by his side and always loved him. And thinking about it, he truly loved her. John loved Natalie with everything he had inside of him. After Caitlin had died, he didn't think he could ever love anyone as much, but it was possible.

John came back from his thought in time to see a tree branch in the road just before he ran over it. He quickly swerved and missed the branch, but nearly hit a car in the lane next to him. The car honked obnoxiously, and John waved a hand of apology and sped up to pass the car.

After John's heart rate slowed down a bit, he went right back to his thoughts. The real reason he was going to Atlantic City in the first place was to visit his father's grave. He hadn't been there in some time, and John though it was best that he received some closure. He could even share his thoughts with his dad. John knew his dad wouldn't really answer him in any way, but it was a good way to get everything you were thinking about, out.

The thing that was most troubling John at the moment had nothing to do with Spencer Truman suprisingly, but what his future with Natalie would hold. John knew he definently wanted a future with Natalie, but he couldn't just go on being with her as just her "boyfriend", not only because he hated that word, but also because he wanted to be more to her. He wanted to be her husband. If he wanted this though, he needed to get a move on; she wouldn't be there for him forever, just waiting until he was ready to give her more.

_You treat life like a picture_

_But it's not a moment that's frozen in time_

_It's not gonna wait_

'_Til you make up your mind, at all_

_So while this storm is breaking_

_While there's light at the end of the tunnel_

_Keep running towards it_

_Releasing the pressure, that's my heartache_

_Soon this dam will break_

_And it feels like today_

_I know, it feels like today, I'm sure_

_It's the one thing that's missin' _

_The one thing you're wishin'_

_The last sacred blessin' _

_It feels like today_

_Feels like today_

A family with Natalie is definently what John wanted. Going to Rodi's, teaching their kids how to play pool, going on vacations, John wanted it all; as long as it involved Natalie.

_It's the one thing that's missin'_

_The one thing you're wishin' _

_The last sacred blessin' _

_Feels like today_

_Feels like Feels like your life changes_

_Feels like Feels like your life changes_

John realized the song had ended because of the loud obnoxious advertisements now blaring over the radio. He took his eyes off the road for a moment to change the radio station, and looked up again in time to see an eighteen-wheeler jump the median and stare his car straight in the face. The last thing John saw before being knocked unconscious was Natalie's glowing face, and then it all went black.

A/N: I really hope you enjoyed it! I kinda feel like I rushed the ending a little bit, but I think it turned out all right! Now, please review!


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